getlonely | limelight | the beginning overflow

Oh. Sorry.

Ah, I mean—there's! Nothing to be sorry for! It's fine, I mean, we're not...

[ not what ]

Yeah. We're...not.

[ something. ]

So, you know it's. Whatever.

I mean, I asked and everything, and she's fine. I mean, I'm glad that you're doing, um.

You're doing okay?

[ it kind of turns into a question though because like. you know ]

I...

[ no, she can do this. she can tell the person who was once very important in herr life and might still be that she is absolutely mcfucking losing it, and is realizing that she might in fact have been mcfucking losing it for roughly the past fifteen years of her life ]

...don't know, really.

[ nailed it. ]

...yeah.

[ is that to like "yeah it seems like it" or "oh girl same" or what or both or neither: who could say ]

I mean—

[ she sort of picks up a hand like she's going to do—something, and then kind of awkwardly waves it in the air like she doesn't know what to do with herself, because she doesn't. ]

Well. It's—

Good to see you. At least.

Yeah. It is. Good to see you, I mean. Do you want to...

[ , ]

...do...something?

Edited 2024-08-23 18:21 (UTC)

[ , ]

I like. Something.

Things. Doing things. Like, um. Whatever you want to do.

[ like kissing moonjelly's stupid face but that would be weird. that'd definitely be weird they're not even, like, a thing anymore, probably? what is there even to do on boats. ]

I don't. Really know. There's, um, the ocean, but we can't really do things there without getting left behind by the boat...

[ why do boats even exist

also how come she can black out and kiss a girl that says the moon is her mom but not a woman she has kissed plenty of times before??? why is life hard???? ]

I kind of just...want to be near you, I guess. At least for a little while.

[ it's because they're both nightmares ]

Oh.

[ she like, doesn't say anything for a second, and then with the kind of fidgety energy of someone who doesn't know where to put her hands, fusses for a few seconds because for some reason the idea of holding hands feels like touching a live wire so instead she just kind of like

brushes some hair that wasn't really in moonjelly's face... further away from her face. ]

...um. Sorry, I forgot to finish that sentence—that's okay with me.

[ why is it impossible to say things like "i'd like that" ]

[ okay but why would you put a live wire near her face???

there is the slightest blush across her face and after a moment of blank staring she hides it by looking down at her feet. ]

Um. Thank you.

[ because she can pretend it's not one whereas handholding is a vulnerable demonstration of wanting which is right out ]

Oh, and—I liked your new video.

I mean obviously you know that because I left a comment but.

Mm. It was good. Thank you. I'm...glad you still follow me.

I read your latest book, too.

Edited 2024-08-27 01:53 (UTC)

—ah.

Um. I, um. What did you think of it?

[ she's just fiddling with her hands nervously. she's fine she's fine ]

...Dense. You write too many words to say what you're trying to say. And, as I've said before, it's dry. It lacks any aspect of your personality in it. I know you hate telling stories, but your writing should still be yours anyway. I guess you could say that's what the density of your work is, but...it feels like the sort of thing that would be more effective if you did write fiction. And...who says that research can't tell a story, anyway? Plenty of studies do that - I've read plenty about things related to my work, and the words still guide me through an arc, of sorts. I think you can do better. You do when you're just talking rather than writing, anyway.

I liked it.

[ she like, lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding ]

Oh, I could kiss you.

[ oh no she just had to open her stupid mouth ]

...You...

[

]

...cccccould...

[ it trails off in a way that sounds like, a little questioning, but is mostly just musing. like yeah, that could happen, ]

Ssssorry that was. Um. I'm just glad you liked it since your opinion matters quite a bit to me and I'm also just glad people read them at all and I don't know why you even think I'm good at talking about things aloud because I'm awful at talking and sometimes I feel like I'm especially bad at talking to you because I can either never say what I want to or I say what I want to in the stupidest possible way and. And.

[ help ]

You're better at it than me.

[ on account of like, she talks and know how words and tone work. very low bar here. ]

...What do you want to say?

I wish I knew.

I missed you, I guess.

You did?

[ she ducks her head and looks away. ]

I—of course I did.

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2/3 jk

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