getlonely | limelight | the beginning overflow

[ h*ndholding

anyway, she follows ]

Do you know, like, a weird amount of people here, by the way.

I'm a performer, so a lot of people know me...the only people here I actually know are the people from the orphanage, though. And you.

And that one girl I had sex with that one time.

And Azalea. And all of her exes.

Edited 2024-08-20 15:24 (UTC)

That's kind of a lot.

........who's the girl you had sex with?

[ she can be normal about this she is so normal she is very cool and fine she doesn't even have a horse in this race ]

...Coquette? The wolf girl with the Disorders. I, um...

[ went bugfuck insane and barely even remember it and definitely do not remember inviting her over in the first place even though the text messages show that is exactly what happened ]

...She kept me company at work one night. And we listened to music and talked about the moon and the sea, and I guess she showed up with intent so one thing led to another...it was just the once, though.

[ "the wolf girl with the disorders" makes it sound like she has every disease ]

...oh she. Rents a room from me off and on?

Oh. Sorry.

Ah, I mean—there's! Nothing to be sorry for! It's fine, I mean, we're not...

[ not what ]

Yeah. We're...not.

[ something. ]

So, you know it's. Whatever.

I mean, I asked and everything, and she's fine. I mean, I'm glad that you're doing, um.

You're doing okay?

[ it kind of turns into a question though because like. you know ]

I...

[ no, she can do this. she can tell the person who was once very important in herr life and might still be that she is absolutely mcfucking losing it, and is realizing that she might in fact have been mcfucking losing it for roughly the past fifteen years of her life ]

...don't know, really.

[ nailed it. ]

...yeah.

[ is that to like "yeah it seems like it" or "oh girl same" or what or both or neither: who could say ]

I mean—

[ she sort of picks up a hand like she's going to do—something, and then kind of awkwardly waves it in the air like she doesn't know what to do with herself, because she doesn't. ]

Well. It's—

Good to see you. At least.

Yeah. It is. Good to see you, I mean. Do you want to...

[ , ]

...do...something?

Edited 2024-08-23 18:21 (UTC)

[ , ]

I like. Something.

Things. Doing things. Like, um. Whatever you want to do.

[ like kissing moonjelly's stupid face but that would be weird. that'd definitely be weird they're not even, like, a thing anymore, probably? what is there even to do on boats. ]

I don't. Really know. There's, um, the ocean, but we can't really do things there without getting left behind by the boat...

[ why do boats even exist

also how come she can black out and kiss a girl that says the moon is her mom but not a woman she has kissed plenty of times before??? why is life hard???? ]

I kind of just...want to be near you, I guess. At least for a little while.

[ it's because they're both nightmares ]

Oh.

[ she like, doesn't say anything for a second, and then with the kind of fidgety energy of someone who doesn't know where to put her hands, fusses for a few seconds because for some reason the idea of holding hands feels like touching a live wire so instead she just kind of like

brushes some hair that wasn't really in moonjelly's face... further away from her face. ]

...um. Sorry, I forgot to finish that sentence—that's okay with me.

[ why is it impossible to say things like "i'd like that" ]

[ okay but why would you put a live wire near her face???

there is the slightest blush across her face and after a moment of blank staring she hides it by looking down at her feet. ]

Um. Thank you.

[ because she can pretend it's not one whereas handholding is a vulnerable demonstration of wanting which is right out ]

Oh, and—I liked your new video.

I mean obviously you know that because I left a comment but.

Mm. It was good. Thank you. I'm...glad you still follow me.

I read your latest book, too.

Edited 2024-08-27 01:53 (UTC)

—ah.

Um. I, um. What did you think of it?

[ she's just fiddling with her hands nervously. she's fine she's fine ]

...Dense. You write too many words to say what you're trying to say. And, as I've said before, it's dry. It lacks any aspect of your personality in it. I know you hate telling stories, but your writing should still be yours anyway. I guess you could say that's what the density of your work is, but...it feels like the sort of thing that would be more effective if you did write fiction. And...who says that research can't tell a story, anyway? Plenty of studies do that - I've read plenty about things related to my work, and the words still guide me through an arc, of sorts. I think you can do better. You do when you're just talking rather than writing, anyway.

I liked it.

[ she like, lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding ]

Oh, I could kiss you.

[ oh no she just had to open her stupid mouth ]

...You...

[

]

...cccccould...

[ it trails off in a way that sounds like, a little questioning, but is mostly just musing. like yeah, that could happen, ]

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2/3 jk

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