...Dense. You write too many words to say what you're trying to say. And, as I've said before, it's dry. It lacks any aspect of your personality in it. I know you hate telling stories, but your writing should still be yours anyway. I guess you could say that's what the density of your work is, but...it feels like the sort of thing that would be more effective if you did write fiction. And...who says that research can't tell a story, anyway? Plenty of studies do that - I've read plenty about things related to my work, and the words still guide me through an arc, of sorts. I think you can do better. You do when you're just talking rather than writing, anyway.







I liked it.